The SmellyPhone
OK The cell phone has revolutionized human communication. You may talk to anyone anywhere (providing of course that you are able to pay your monthly phone bill—an assumption that is, of course, in today’s economy, hardly a certainty. But let me not digress here on the problems of the global economy.) The world is interconnected and everyone can talk to everyone else, at least in theory. Whether they like it or not! Ahh but that’s not all. In addition to the rudimentary facility of sending and receiving voice data, cell phones now include all kinds of baneful capacities including web access, cameras, e-mail, radio, games---you name it. A recent article in the New Scientist ("A Cell phone Full of Dollars," New Scientist July 24-30 2004 p. 26) discusses the "mobile wallet" cell phone that acts a credit card, train ticket, cash reserve, and ATM. (Be careful not to wash the darn thing by accident in the laundry!) Cell phones will now do just about any conceivable task, except pay your mortgage or drive your kids to school. I recently read that the download ring-tone industry is a multi-billion dollar-a-year industry. You may now download Beethoven or the Punkabillys, whose music can alert you to an in-coming call. But if music is the soul of life, should we then, neglect our olfactory sense? Nay, I say. Hence, I propose that the next significant advance in mobile communication technology should be the "Smellyphone" or if in Europe, the "Smellyfone." With this new stinky technology , one can be alerted to in-coming calls, not by the noisy interruption of auditory intrusions, but by the odor of your choice. Imagine the possibilities! Ah the wafting pleasures of jasmine or vanilla. Or perhaps cologne scents by the designer of your choice. Or the warm aroma of fresh-brewed coffee. (Homer Simpson might prefer of course, the fresh baked smell of jelly donuts.) The Smellyphone promises to revolutionize the communication industry (patent pending) Void where prohibited by law.
